Come, February!

"wenn du mich sehen willst, mach einfach die Augen zu."

I took a small cup out of the cupboard and placed it on a saucer. I started my routine. I grabbed a kettle, poured in some fresh water from the tap and placed it on the stove. Afterward, I got the heat going. While the water was boiling, I pulled out a tea bag. I knew, as a wise man said good tea did not come in any. Good tea was loose. But I was just being lazy. And as another very wise man said, tea bags were the best way out. I dumped the tea bag in the cup, added a heaping teaspoon of sugar and pouring the hot water over them. I let the tea steep for about two minutes, pulled the bag out of the cup and threw it into the rubbish bin. I stirred my tea with a spoon for a couple of seconds and ta da! My favourite beverage was eventually ready. 

Holding my cup, I walked toward my room. It had been a long day! I had had three classes this morning, a journalist meeting, an assembly rehearsal and a great deal of marking. Not to mention some private courses I had to attend in the afternoon! Yet, I still got a drama script and a couple of lesson planning to write. So I decided to let the word processor start working. It seemed that my entire life had been centered around three things lately; school, my room and laptop. I didn’t go out very much since I moved back to the same town where I spent eighteen years before finally moving to another city for my study in 2003. No matter how much I had adored my new place in the city or how I had found it so easy to fit in, when I graduated from university back four years ago, I was expected to leave. Mum and dad had insisted on me staying with them. I welcomed the idea, and, to be honest, was rather pleased at the thought of not having to cook or buy my food anymore. I was a little bit farther from freedom than I had been since I moved in, but I was such a home person myself, so I didn’t mind the situation at all. In fact, I enjoyed being buried deep in my current jobs. I wondered how people found my life boring! 

I read some idiotic updates my friends, or I’d rather call them acquaintances, had written on facebook. I got a bit annoyed every time I came across some shallow sentences for no particular reasons. It was getting worse and worse all the time. So I was determined to unsubscribe those people who had a tendency to do so. It was just so that I didn’t end up hating them. No hard feeling or sort of. I was glad that none of them were my close friends. Suddenly one picture caught my attention. It was a picture of that person I had been quietly falling in love with. He looked confident and comfortable as he always did. This was how things used to work in my world. I missed a person so badly but I could only stare at his picture wondering if he even ever thought of me. It wasn’t until a month ago that the hesitance had evaporated. I shouldn’t remain oblivious. He had unintentionally hurt me with his lack of awareness. His silence was a poison. Thus I determined to let myself under his spotlight.

“Where are you?” I typed in the letters instantly. Winamp player was currently playing Katy Perry’s Thinking of You. What a perfect background! I seized my tea cup and sipped my almost-cold tea, waiting for him to reply.

“In you heart.” He said innocently without realizing how his short respond had inevitably managed to make my day.

“Stop that silly phrase, please? Where, literally in the world, are you?” I tried to sound equitable rather than pleased, though the truth was definitely the other way around. I was high. Being glad it was a cyber world conversation, I couldn’t help picturing the boy saying the phrase in person. I was such an incompetent liar, I had no idea how I would have made a fool of myself if only he had flirted me that way right before my eyes.

“I’m currently out of town, girl.”

"When are you going home, then?" I was craving something like 'next week'. No such luck.

“Probably next month. What’s the matter?” It sounded like one of those trick questions to my ears. 

“Mm…nothing. Do you really want me to utter it? You know precisely why. You’re just trying to get me to utter it, aren’t you? Well, I’m missing your smile, I suppose?”

“Is that all?” Just another trick question.

“Just let me know when you’re home, please? I MISS YOU.” I was only imaginarily typing the last sentence, of course. No living creature on this planet would be able to read it, not even myself. But I knew he got the message. The telepathy had never disappointed me so far. It was an agreement between hearts. They had their very own way to reveal each other's disguise. Mine told his that I longed for his master, and vice versa. Wasn't it amazing how you effortlessly could admit your feeling without necessarily reciting the alphabet?

Moment later, I told him the farewell and logged out. I was finishing my tea, tried to enjoy every sip of it, while waiting for the office to dissolve. I was determined to be naughty by not finishing the drama script. I was just too tired, or, probably, so madly in love that I couldn't occupy my mind with anything. I ushered myself back to the kitchen and put the dirty cup into the sink- I didn't even bother washing it. So much for neatness. But one thing for sure, from that moment on, I was eagerly waiting for February. Komm, Februar!